Emma, 14

My brother’s in-laws have endured another painful life and death.  Last year, a 20-something daughter died from brain cancer; yesterday, a 14 year old grand-daughter also died from brain cancer.  (I use the general term “brain cancer” because I don’t know specifics.)  And, considering that our Twins have just celebrated six months, it seems appropriate to ask the question, “Why?”

As in, “Why have children, if they might have a very difficult life and die young?”  Or, as another, unrelated, couple that I know has put it, “How can you bring children into this awful world?”  Pretty much the same question, really.  And very much the same answer.

A year ago, or two years ago (more like it), I could not have answered anything other than, “Good question.”  I certainly was not thinking of bringing any more children into this world, and so I could (thankfully) avoid any difficult answers.  Knowing what Mother Nature can do to us, and what our fellow man (this would be the very generic “man” to include men, women and those who are confused) can do to us, it would seem that bringing more children into this life would be selfish at best (“someone to adore and take care of me”), and damned stupid at worst (the worst doesn’t always happen to the other guy – sometimes it is closer to home than that, like my brother’s home).

But, since July 1, I have discovered inexpressible joy.  Altho I think “happiness” is over-rated, I really couldn’t get my arms around “joy” – was it a synonym for happy, or something else entirely ?  (Always slinking away, mumbling, “Good question.”)

Yes, CS Lewis’ title, “Surprised by Joy,” comes to mind, and maybe there are some similarities I am not thinking of (altho my wife’s name is most definitely not “Joy”).  But, “surprised” is definitely the word here – six months later, I am still surprised.

Every day, I thank GOD for the gift of these two, new lives – very little lives, but already growing faster than I can imagine.  I cannot frankly, think of a greater gift; for with these two lives, I feel HOPE.

GOD called me back to the One, True Church about ten years ago with the Gift of Faith.  Just last year, He gave me the Gift of Hope.

Those two girls lived very difficult and very short lives.  For all I know, our Twins will fare no better.  But, in the lives of those two girls and in their passing, I believe I will be a better father.

You see, I believe GOD gives us all opportunities and then lets us choose.  The parents of those two girls chose hope.  The family and extended family can choose to remember how those two little ones lived, and they can choose to remember the love and the hope.  Or they can get angry.  They can turn toward GOD, or they can turn away from GOD.

I was certainly aware of the “dark side” of Life long ago.  And, I was marching down the road of turning away from it.  Had I not married my wife and had we not been blessed with these two little lives, my own life would be far less stressful (I sure wouldn’t be working this job and driving an hour or two each way to do it).  And I never would have known what I was missing.

So yes, I continue to pray for Emma and her aunt, as I pray for my Twins.




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